If It Can Happen to Her, It Can Happen to Me
A gentle reframe for baby showers, announcements, and the moments that sting
When your friends seem to get pregnant effortlessly and your calendar fills with baby showers, it can feel like salt in a tender place. The joy you want to feel is mixed with grief, envy, and the quiet question you don’t always say out loud:
Why not me?
First—let’s name this gently: there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way. Jealousy in this season isn’t bitterness. It’s longing. It’s love with nowhere to land yet.
And there is a way to reframe this that doesn’t bypass your feelings—but transforms them.
Jealousy Is Not the Problem—Meaning Is
What hurts isn’t your friend’s pregnancy.
What hurts is the story your mind tells you about it:
It’s easy for everyone else.
My body must be broken.
I’m running out of time.
These stories turn someone else’s miracle into evidence against you.
But what if you changed the meaning?
The Reframe That Changes Everything
Instead of:
Why does it happen so easily for her?
Try:
If it can happen to her, it can happen to me.
This isn’t spiritual bypassing.
It’s energetic alignment.
Every pregnancy you witness is not proof of your lack—it is proof of possibility.
The universe is not teasing you.
It’s showing you what’s available.
Let Baby Showers Become Evidence, Not Wounds
Each announcement becomes a mirror:
A reminder that bodies are capable
That life arrives in many ways
That miracles are still happening
You don’t have to attend every shower.
You don’t have to fake joy when your heart needs rest.
But when you do witness another woman’s pregnancy, try this quiet mantra:
This is not excluding me. This is reminding me.
Borrow Belief When Yours Feels Tired
Sometimes your own hope is exhausted.
That’s okay.
Let your friends’ stories carry belief for you until yours feels strong again. Let their pregnancies become placeholders for your future—evidence that the door is open, not closed.
There is no cosmic quota.
No limit on joy.
No competition for souls.
One woman’s pregnancy does not delay yours.
It does not reduce your chances.
It does not mean you missed your window.
You Are Not Being Left Behind
Different timelines do not mean different worth.
Some paths are direct.
Some are scenic.
Some gather wisdom along the way.
None of them are wrong.
So the next time jealousy creeps in, don’t shame it. Sit with it. Then gently turn it into this truth:
If it can happen to her, it can happen to me.
Not because you’re forcing belief—
but because possibility is contagious.
And your story is still unfolding. 🤍
I know… even with all the reframes and good intentions, it can still feel like a lot.
Some days you can hold the perspective.
Other days, it all just hits—harder than you expected.
And that’s okay.
If you need someone to talk to…
someone who won’t rush you to “stay positive,”
someone who won’t offer unsolicited advice,
someone who understands that this season is layered and tender—
you deserve that support.
You don’t have to carry this quietly.
You don’t have to explain or justify how you feel.
You don’t have to make sense of it all right now.
Sometimes the most healing thing isn’t another mindset shift or practice—it’s simply being heard. Being met. Being held in a conversation where nothing needs to be fixed.
If this journey feels heavy, please know: reaching out isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom.
And you are not alone in this—no matter how much it feels like it some days. 🤍
With so much love,
Kristin
